Hi all! I know it’s been a year since you last heard from me. A lot has changed for my family and I since I last updated you all. So, here it all goes.
Last year I around this time of the year I decided to start focusing on myself. I realized that I had to do more for myself so that I could better help my family. So, my first step…weight loss. I know…a lot of times it is our first step. But I had to start liking myself again. So I’ve been on a journey this past year. Quite a challenging journey. About halfway through I realized eating healthy wasn’t enough. So I decided to get myself a personal trainer. I know right?!? They are EXPENSIVE! But my husband and I decided to make some extra sacrifices so I could do this. He’s such a wonderful man! I’m still on my journey, but I keep falling off and getting back on. I guess the important part is that I do get back on. My trainer is a wonderful person who not only is helping train my body, but my mind and soul as well! I am so grateful I made that choice every day! At one point I wanted to quit. I was going through a depression low and I didn’t think I could stick with it. But she and I talked and I decided to stay and it was the best choice!
So yea, depression. It’s so real for many of us. But sometimes we don’t want to talk about it. We don’t want to admit that we take meds, or that we have a “label”. I am here to say, I have one. My “label” is mild anxiety/depression with bouts of serious depressive episodes. GAH! What a mouthful. Some days I don’t know how to deal with that. Some days I want to stay in my room. Some days I’m ok to get out and take on the world. But I get up every morning for my wonderful husband and 3 little girls and keep pushing through. It’s not something I can “snap out of”. It is something I make a conscious decision to fight every day. I am grateful for modern medicine! I am grateful that there are medications I can take to help balance the chemicals in my body that are out of whack! My depression isn’t my fault or my family’s fault, or the fault of the things that happened to me when I was a kid. It is something I’ve struggled with my whole life but couldn’t deal with. So now, I choose to talk about it. Now, I am getting up and I will tell people that this is “my label”. The more we talk about it, the less the stigma has control.
With the depression, I decided part of doing something for me was to get a full-time job. I love my church gig! I love singing the funerals and the weddings. I still do when I can on the weekends. But for my family and for my sanity, my family and I decided I should try a full-time job. So I am currently working in an elementary school as an Instructional Assistant for 5th-grade math SPED children. I LOVE IT! I love working with children. There are days that are more challenging than others. But I love the people I work with, the children I work with and where I work! It was a GREAT decision to make!
I have a great life. I’m still singing whenever I can. I’m teaching teens about the faith and I’m working with children in school! I am truly blessed beyond belief and I can’t wait to see what 2019 has in store for it!