An Interview with Amy Upgraft

Artist Interview
Written By MilspoFAN

Milspouse Amy Upgraft uses her theatre background to bridge gaps, collaborate with other milspouse artists, and inspire others to find emotional release through art.


MilspoFAN: Tell us a little about yourself, your journey as a military spouse, and where you are today.

Amy: I was born and raised in Woodburn, Indiana, the self-proclaimed “smallest town in the state.” From the minute that I got there, I was ready to leave. I met Jamie, my husband, in the middle of a contentious high school basketball game. It took us a while, but we ended up dating through college - me at Purdue and him at West Point. I lived in NYC a few years after graduation, but he soon persuaded me to marry him and go on “the adventure of a lifetime” with the military. He promised me five years in, and then we could move on to pursue some of my aspirations. Then 9/11 happened, and it all changed in an instant. That “adventure” saw 21 years in the Army, 13 moves, 4 kids and 5 deployments… an adventure indeed. 

MilspoFAN: How did you get started in theater and what led you to write and perform "I Will Wait"?

Amy: I did theatre all through high school, and when it came time to head to college and pick a major, there was no other choice for me. I graduated armed with that theatre degree, then I headed straight to NYC where I auditioned and worked until I got married. I managed to keep a toe in the theatre world through all the moves - teaching, directing local shows, sometimes having to establish my own classes on post. It wasn’t easy, but I tried to stay involved. 

I wrote IWW in the darkest time of my milspouse life. I had just had our fourth baby while Jamie was on his 3rd deployment, and he was soon leaving again for a 4th deployment. I was depressed, overwhelmed and creatively empty. I started talking to and interviewing other military and veteran spouses, and I soon learned that I wasn’t alone in my feelings. IWW was born out of those stories. It spans from WWII to the current wars, looking at what it means to love those that our nation sends to war. We first produced IWW in 2015 and have since produced the play in several different locations throughout the country with either full scale productions or staged readings. 


MilspoFAN: Describe for us your creative project Veteran Spouses Project?

Amy: The Veteran’s Spouse Project (VSP) is a 501c3 that I started with two other military spouses in 2017. It is now run by myself and my partner, Lea Johnson, along with two other military spouses, Audra Edwards and Kristie Rigdon. VSP gives voice to the experiences of veterans' spouses across generations by providing opportunities for creativity and healing through the arts while helping to bridge the gaps between civilian and military communities. We do that through theatre, creative writing workshops, and storytelling through blogs and a documentary style of interview videos. We start conversations, build relationships, create connections, and offer actionable opportunities for families, friends, and communities to support military spouses and families.

MilspoFAN: How has your role as a military spouse impacted your work - creatively, logistically, or otherwise?

Amy: I spent years of my life trying to fit the round “theatre” peg into the square “military” hole. Through writing IWW and founding VSP, I realized that they could be married in a beautiful, unique and cathartic way. There isn’t a whole lot of military-centric theatre out in the world, and with over 2.5 million people serving in the United States military, both active duty and reserves, don’t you think that those stories should be told? I certainly do and the success of our programs tells us that others believe it too. 

MilspoFAN: How do you cultivate your creativity?

Amy: I find myself most inspired when I see/listen/soak in other types of creativity and art. I’ll listen to a song, see a show, look at a piece of art and instantly feel inspired to create myself. Also, time and space cultivate creativity… giving yourself the TIME and SPACE to be creative. In this day- and-age, we want instant gratification, and creativity doesn’t always work like that. Stephen King has referenced his book ideas starting as a far-off spark and with enough time and space, they become a raging inferno that he must write about. I relate to that so deeply. As creatives, we can set the conditions, but we must be OPEN to what bubbles up, flies in through the window or whistles in our ear. This is a huge challenge for me personally. I’m always convinced that I don’t have enough time, but I do… if I make the space for it and listen for it.

MilspoFAN: How do you meet other artists or plug into the local arts scene when you PCS?

Amy: This is HARD, and something that I failed at, especially when I was home with little kids, often solo parenting for months and months on end. My advice is to just GO. Hire the babysitter, find a fellow art-loving friend, and GO. Go see the First Friday art festivals in your new hometown. Buy season tickets to your local community theatre so you will be forced to get out and leave post. Find out where they play the best live music and set up a date night to go and listen. Stop by the library’s bulletin board and see what is out there. Pick up that free arts magazine by the restaurant door, open it and then pick one thing to go and see. It’s hard, but the times in my milspouse life when I was happiest is when I put myself out there in a real, authentic and creative way. 

MilspoFAN: What’s next for you?

Amy: I have just written a new play with fellow milspouse writers. It has come out of my Heart to Script monologue writing class through VSP, and we had a staged reading in Knoxville, TN this fall, and we will have another one at West Point, NY on 25 April. We hope to continue to workshop this new piece titled in*Between and would love to do a full production in the future. in*Between is based on the idea that so much of a military spouse’s life is lived in the ‘in between.’ In between moves. In between homes. In between schools. In between careers. In between deployments. In between training. Just ‘in between.’ And how does a military spouse piece together a real, authentic life from all the in betweens? That’s what this play is about. I’m proud of all the hard work that went into writing it and where it might be headed. 


My co-worker, Audra and I are also helping Jeannie Puckett, spouse of Medal of Honor recipient, COL (R) Ralph Puckett write her memoir, Meanwhile. We featured her on our VSP blog series last year, and her full memoir was born out of that. It’s been an amazing experience to listen to her life stories over her 9+ decades on earth.

Find Amy and The Veteran’s Spouse Project (VSP) online at:

Website: www.veteransspouseproject.org

Instagram: @veteransspouseproject

Facebook: www.facebook.com/veteransspouseproject

Youtube:



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